A 9-year-old relative recently befriended me on Facebook.
When this red-headed spitfire is not grounded from Facebook for bad grades and other misdeeds, John communicates with me via instant messages. With permission from his mom, here are excerpts of recent conversations I have had with John.
Always Hamburger Helper
John: Hey Susan. My mom is mean!
Susan: I know.
John: Yeah, everyone knows.
Susan: What did she do this time?
John: She unplugged the computer.
Susan: [After several minutes of discussion about the reason his mom grounded him from the computer and encouragement from me on improving his grades, I tried to get John to think good things about his mom]: Does she cook good food for you?
John: Yeah… always Hamburger Helper.
Do You Have Any Cavities?
John: Hey Susan. Sob. Sob.
Susan: What's wrong?
John: My mom is mean.
Susan: What did she do this time?
John: I made my reading goal and s'posed to go to a special program but she's making me go to the dentist and the funeral. [The funeral is for his great uncle who died in a farming accident.]
Susan: Well, it's not her fault about the funeral and it's important to take care of your teeth.
John: I know.
Susan: Do you have any cavities?
John: No.
Susan: That's good! You must do a good job brushing your teeth.
John: Not really.
This Time it's my Girlfriend
John: Hey Susan. Sob. Sob.
Susan: What’s wrong? Is your mom being mean again?
John: No, not my mom. This time it’s my girlfriend.
Susan: Did you break up?
John: Her mom made us break up … again.
Susan: Well, you’re kind of young for a girlfriend.
John: No I’m not! I’m a preteen!
Susan: What do you want a girlfriend for anyway?
John: To love on!
Susan: Hmmm. No wonder her mom made you break up.
Dad is Boring
John: Hey Susan. Sob. Sob.
Susan: What’s wrong?
John: I have to go shed hunting with my dad. [Shed hunting is looking for antlers deer have shed. ]
Susan: What’s wrong with that? It’s a nice day.
John: But it’s five hours away.
Susan: Maybe you should be glad your dad wants to spend time with you.
John: He’s boring.
Susan: He can’t help it.
John: I know.
Susan: You're not boring. Maybe you can teach him to not be boring.
John: Yeah, I’ll do that… NOT!
