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19 Comments
PrintDress Code for Seniors (Humor)
News Type: Other — Tue May 26, 2009 10:56 PM EDT
Fashion faux pas.
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I don't often forward jokes sent to me by friends, but this one really made me laugh. Maybe it hit a little too close to home as I am approaching 50 and trying to hang onto a youthful appearance.
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Many of us over 50, or on the way to 50, are confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether we are correct as we try to conform to current fashion.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist
11. Bikinis and liver spots
12. Short shorts and varicose veins
13. Inline skates and a walker
And the ultimate 'Bad Taste' in fashion for the older folks...
14. Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.
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Published to:
- WordsPerSWade's Column, All of Newsvine
- Groups: Charity Lauphs, Fabulous Forty, Laughter Is The Best Medicine
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- Public Discussion (19)
- Charity Lauphs
- Fabulous Forty
- Laughter Is The Best Medicine
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{"commentId":7299533,"authorDomain":"wordsperswade"}
Hope you get a giggle from this.
{"commentId":7299533,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"wordsperswade"}
- 2 votes
#1 - Tue May 26, 2009 11:03 PM EDT{"commentId":7299657,"authorDomain":"bigmomma"}
Hahahahaha this is just too funny! Thanks for the laugh!
{"commentId":7299657,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"bigmomma"}
- 1 vote
#2 - Tue May 26, 2009 11:11 PM EDT{"commentId":7299666,"authorDomain":"myriver"}
Truly hilarious :)
Great find! Thanks for sharing it with us.
{"commentId":7299666,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"myriver"}
- 1 vote
#3 - Tue May 26, 2009 11:12 PM EDT{"commentId":7299815,"authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
I've always said, since I was about 13, that I want to be that eccentric old person that everyone thinks is crazy. You spend your whole life living up the the Jones'. Why not spend your last days having a blast and making younger people laugh!? I'm only in my 30's and already I'm thinking up ways to go out and be weird just to stoke up the kiddies. I absolutely hate when kids can't explore thier identities, thats why I am wanting to explore mine now that I'm all grown up! (smiles) Hell--live your life--who cares what anyone else thinks--as long as you don't hurt anyone and you have FUN!.
Words, I actually disagree with most of what you posted above. Just because people don't want to see a horror show, it doesn't mean they won't look--hell many pay for it! And most of the scenes you've described require a Look and a laugh.
{"commentId":7299815,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
- 3 votes
#4 - Tue May 26, 2009 11:22 PM EDT{"commentId":7300033,"authorDomain":"myriver"}
*grins---there are some things we just shouldn't share. A behind covered in depends and laced with a thong is one of them.
{"commentId":7300033,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"myriver"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":7300198,"authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
Hey there River,
I have to agree with that one. But if you saw it, you have to admit, you'd laugh your ever-loving ars off!
{"commentId":7300198,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":7300313,"authorDomain":"myriver"}
Oddly enough, chelli......
I found myself in a peculiar situation one night in Virginia. There was this little old lady in her 70's who I knew had Alzheimer's and just a few too many beers one night. I had went to the bathroom, and when I re-entered the living room where the 'party' was, there was Auntie (not my auntie), stripping in the middle of the room. She was buck naked pretty quick, and she stayed that way the rest of the night. I didn't laugh. It was kinda sad.....
{"commentId":7300313,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"myriver"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":7300510,"authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
Oh River, you just had to go There.. You made me feel bad. I, of course, did not mean disrespect to anyone who was mentally challenged or disabled. But if it WAS me, I would want you to laugh and have fun. That's really all I was trying to say. And, for the record, if it ever is me--you'll know by the Sponge Bob Square Pants underwear/or possibly the Smurfs/ or underdog/ or WONDERWOMAN!!!!!... have some fun on my account. I won't care at that point. You just have to laugh sometimes--I choose to laugh at myself.
{"commentId":7300510,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":7300597,"authorDomain":"myriver"}
Oh River, you just had to go There..
No, dear, I didn't just 'go' there. It's a habit of mine to bear things such as that in mind and remember that I would want someone to do the same for me. I'm sorry for making you feel bad, and yes, it's important to laugh. My sense of humor is just much more reserved than that of others. Sorry.....
I could neva laugh at smurf undies. Haven't seen any in years, though. :)
{"commentId":7300597,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"myriver"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":7300888,"authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
You couldn't laugh at Smurf undies (neva--just how old are you my friend? seem like an old soul, but have the vernacular of a youngster?) but hey, Dude--You need to lighten up, up and away ee ay, my beautiful balloon... (Actually, look up Smurfette on SNL Shorts. you might find it very humorous and maybe a little dirty, but funny)
Sorry, My hubby's family is very reserved and mine is more--loose (although the extended part of mine is also very rigid). I understand the huge need for respect, but try to balance it with the need for reality and sanity. I can tell you, if I saw someone who I did not believe was able to take care of themselves or defend themselves, I would be their number one advocate. I have advocated for children--they are my main priority--but I am also liscenced and required to advocate for the elderly. If I saw someone with lingerie/thong and depends--not that bad--unless I saw a clear indicator of abuse or misuse. If I saw someone naked--yeah, I'd help them out in a heartbeat and dress them. I seriously don't want people to be embarrassed or humiliated; if I thought that they were doing so, I would try to help.
{"commentId":7300888,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"j-clarahan"}
{"commentId":7302779,"authorDomain":"myriver"}
Hey, chelli......I'm no dude.....
It's nice to think you would try to help someone in need. It shows character.
{"commentId":7302779,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"myriver"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":7299850,"authorDomain":"fembird3"}
lol'
{"commentId":7299850,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"fembird3"}
- 1 vote
#5 - Tue May 26, 2009 11:25 PM EDT{"commentId":7300255,"authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
Um....eeewwww. Why am I thinking of that lady from Something About Mary?
{"commentId":7300255,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
- 2 votes
#6 - Tue May 26, 2009 11:51 PM EDT{"commentId":7309038,"authorDomain":"wordsperswade"}
{"commentId":7306744,"authorDomain":"grammarphobe"}
Hahahaha! Very cute! Hey, do any other women out there hide things under their breasts? Crumb, one night on the way to the bedroom, my hands were full so I stuck my paper back under a boob and VIOLA! Made it in one trip! ;o)
{"commentId":7306744,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"grammarphobe"}
- 1 vote
#7 - Wed May 27, 2009 11:14 AM EDT{"commentId":7309006,"authorDomain":"wordsperswade"}
{"commentId":7309652,"authorDomain":"grammarphobe"}
ROFLMAO! I don't know how impressive that is! Gross maybe! ;-D The paper back is worrisome enough, when I can carry a hard cover, I'm calling a plastic surgeon!
{"commentId":7309652,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"grammarphobe"}
{"commentId":7308729,"authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
=) funny !
{"commentId":7308729,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
- 1 vote
#8 - Wed May 27, 2009 12:45 PM EDT{"commentId":7309797,"authorDomain":"heartland"}
That was funny! Thanx for the laugh:)
{"commentId":7309797,"threadId":"588267","contentId":"2867202","authorDomain":"heartland"}
#9 - Wed May 27, 2009 1:37 PM EDT{"canLink":false,"threadId":"588267","isPrivate":false}
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